Anyway, when she started going to the gym in more recent days, the idea of toughening up those now-ageing bones with some high-impact fight-style action seemed much more credible to her than it could ever seem to me. And so she signed up for some one-to-one training in Muay Thai, which is another variant of Mixed Martial Arts fighting. There are loads of variants actually, including Dutch kickboxing, American kickboxing, K1, Sanshou, Yaw-Yan, Gwon-gyokdo - you get the idea. Muay Thai is kind of the original, and allows pretty much anything; elbows, knees, kicks, fists (gloves are worn) and continuing the attack in a clinch, unlike more recent styles.
Muay Thai training involves learning different types of kick and punch and then doing them as quickly as possible against one's trainer's various pads. The most obvious result of this regime is that it generates a facial colouring indistinguishable from a cooked beetroot, which effect can last for half an hour or more (easily long enough to get back home from the gym). It's shocking initially, but one gets used to it. Various other bits get a recolouring too, especially the shins, which mostly go various shades of blue, and stay that way until the next session.
All in all it seems quite damaging to the delicate tissues, but apparently it's worth it for the endorphins, bone-strengthening, muscle tone, overall fitness and improved self-confidence. Whether the acquired skills are effective in a street fight remains, I am very pleased to say, untested.
Jackie's Muay Thai trainer is a muscled hunk called Jacob (pronounced Yacob) who is frighteningly strong. Yesterday he entered his first "kind-of-big-league" fight as part of the support for the title fights for two classes in the European Championship. All this took place in Exeter University's Lemon Grove - a venue generally more accustomed to hosting tribute bands than gladiatorial combat. And guess who had tickets?
And so it was that, to my considerable surprise, I went to a live boxing event.
First stop was the bar of course, where I was served behind an older gentleman wearing a very smart camel coat, of the type once stereotypically favoured by used car salesmen - and boxing promoters. Coo er, I thought. Plus ça change, eh?
The fights all started out on a very small scale, with "non-decision bouts" featuring very junior chaps of about 9-12 wearing so much protective clothing that it wasn't clear how they could see over the top of it, in some cases. It was fairly clear that being tall is advantageous over being short, but everybody got medals anyway, and there was polite applause all round.
Then we got on to some more athletic stuff with a variety of ages, body shapes and fighting styles. Some people seem to be basically trying to avoid getting hit; some perform dramatic superman punches and whirling head kicks (which everybody likes, except presumably the recipient). Some punch a lot, some hardly at all. There's a lot of kicking aimed at the legs (which doesn't appear to have much effect) and some people favour clinches, in which the combatants try to lever each others heads off while launching their knees at each others' waists rather feebly from very close quarters. Occasionally everyone flails around dervish style and it's impossible to see what's happening, although it is quite exciting, and sometimes someone ends up on the floor, which is obviously excellent. Muay Thai allows leg sweeps, which are particularly effective if your man is only standing on one leg at a the time you sweep it away. Anyway, they all bow graciously at the start of each bout, and hug one another at the end, and there are medals, and it all seems like quite good fun.
It all changed for the first title fight though. This was to decide the 2019 European Championship 70kg class, (Muay Thai rules). It turned out to be between a Spanish chap called Jesus something-or-other, and an Exeter local hero called Jake Purdy. The Spanish chap came out first, and they booed him! Not very sporting at all. Jake, on the other hand, has his own supporters' song (which I can't remember, sorry) and is so popular that people at the VIP tables in front of us were standing on the chairs just to get a picture of him.
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| standing on chairs... |
Fortunately, Jake was triumphant. The Spanish chap suffered quite a few cuts early on, so there was actual blood everywhere (just like normal boxing) and he never looked that much of a threat, despite making a good stab at the flailing style at the start of the third round. He lasted for the full five rounds, but Jake was awarded the usual triumphal belt with an elephantine shiny bit in the middle, and the crowd was pleased.
Then, rather incongruously, we had a "normal" boxing bout between a huge fat bloke wearing a tee-shirt (is that really allowed?) and a tough-looking, fit chap who looked, and moved, like a boxer. The fat bloke just walked around, defended his face, ignored all the body blows, and never found opportunity to throw a punch. The other bloke bobbed, weaved, ducked, dived, threw lots of punches, and was awarded the win. Hmmm.
Eventually, after standing in the same place for really rather a long time, we got to Jacob's fight. Jacob was first into the ring and surprised everyone by doing a bit of leaping around and going "Raah!" to the crowd like an old pro. I say! He did look confident though. His opponent was a big bloke, with a slight height and range advantage. Jacob started off right away in the flailing style, and it seemed to pay off. It all seemed to be roundhouse punches, with a bit of grappling and very few kicks. Actually it looked surprisingly like a playground fight to me, but of course I'm no expert, They both took a few hits, and the other guy lost has footing and stumbled at one point. Then it all slowed down for a while and Jacob landed a few firm blows to the head while his opponent slowed down more and more until Jacob kicked his feet away. When the first round was over it seemed pretty clear that Jacob was coming out on top. Round two started with more flailing, and a lot of leg kicks on both sides until Jacob landed a couple of seemingly undefended hits to the face, and the referee stood the big man up against the ropes and counted him out. I don't know whether he resigned, or the ref decided he couldn't let the poor chap go on, but either way the result was a win for Jacob by a knockout in the second. Informed sources tell me that the leg kicks were a crucial factor in facilitating the final decisive head-pummelling. At the end of it all, our boy had been on for about 3 minutes in total.
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| Jacob being refuelled |
We, on the other hand, had been standing for over five hours by this time, so we decided to forgo the possibility of another fantastic title fight and go home for a little late supper instead.
And so it was that the lovely Jackie's early karate training came full circle, and landed squarely in my unsuspecting weekend as an evening out to remember. There's so much more I could mention, like the extraordinary tattoos, the tennis racket headgear, the frilly shorts with golden hankies on the side, and the bored, restless trophy WAGs at the VIP tables, all of which seem to be part of the MMA culture; but I suspect that like me, you've had enough now. All I can say in conclusion is that I hope that when we eventually get there, the water skiing doesn't involve quite so much standing around.